My name is Ciarra. Im 15 years old. I like sweaters, animals, and ice cream. Ask me anything yo.

 

Listen kid, here are the rules:

1. Don’t shut down. You have to feel pain because once you turn it off, you can’t get it back. And then you’re left prying open your veins and breaking your bones, drowning in vodka, choking on pills, bleeding out, swallowing cigarettes, fucking boys who rip your heart out of your chest and slam it against the wall and then smile at you like you’re the prettiest thing in the room. It turns out that feeling nothing feels worse than anything else.

2. Cut him out of your life. It doesn’t matter how many times he called you beautiful and told you he loved you. I know he was a sweet guy but he’s not the same person anymore. He hurt you. He doesn’t deserve to occupy a thought in your head let alone drown you in your own tears. I know you loved him. Maybe you always will. But if you want to stay alive, you’ve got to let him go. Delete your old texts with him because baby I swear to god you will read over all the “I love you’s” and “baby girl’s” and you will crack your ribs with them.

3. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay slide down a wall in tears at three in the morning aching and screaming. If you want to sit on your bedroom floor with your head buried in your knees, tears spilling out of your eyes and filling the room up to your waist, do it. It doesn’t make you weak. You could never be weak. You’re alive and that’s the hardest thing to be. I’m so proud of you. Always.

4. Don’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with. When you’re at a party and you’re sitting next to a boy who’s words are dripping with cheap alcohol and he’s grabbing your thigh and spitting liquor down your neck in sloppy kisses, push him off you. You don’t owe him anything. You’re not being mean or hurting his feelings. If you’re not okay, leave.

5. Don’t hurt yourself. If you think you feel shitty now, imagine how terrible you’re going to feel when you accidentally cut too deep and you feel your life spilling out of your wrists. I know you want to get rid of him and the heartbreak he left behind. I know you want to get rid of the numbness and the headaches and the shaky hands. I know you want to get rid of the pain. But when you’re lighting your skin on fire or tearing into your veins, you’ve got pain spilling out of your bones. But you’re dripping everything good too. You’ve got a tangle of outer space inside of you and you can’t lose the darkness between the stars without losing the stars too.

6. Save yourself first. I know you’re in love with a pretty boy who writes you poetry and slits your wrists. I know he falls asleep crying. But so do you. I know he’s your world. I know you’re in love. But you can’t be up at four in the morning talking him out of suicide when you’ve got six tests the next day. You can’t stop him from ripping his heart out when you’re still trying to figure out how to get yours beating again. You can’t save him. You’ve just got to love him with all you’ve got. You have to love yourself too.

7. Terminate toxic relationships. It doesn’t make you a bad person. You need to be self-preserving for once in your fucking life. When your best friend kisses the boy you would die for, stop sleeping on her floor when she calls you crying because she got her heart broken by a boy who’s name she couldn’t remember. When your father kicks you out of the house and tells you he wants you gone, stay gone. When your boyfriend comments on how much you’ve been eating and makes you feel guilty for feeling the world, delete his number. You don’t need people dragging you down. You don’t need anybody poising you. You’ve got enough pain already.

8. It gets better. I know right now you’re on the verge of killing yourself. You’re on the edge and you’re waiting for the fall. But there’s nothing good at the bottom, just a lot of broken bones and blood and sore throats. I know how much you want to die and I know how hard it is to stay but you have to. Because one day you’re going to wake up smiling. You’re going to fall in love and your heart will stay whole. You’re going to travel and swim in the ocean and you’re not going to pray that you drown. You’re going to go for a drive in the middle of the night and feel free instead of hoping you crash. You’re going to be alright.

8 things I wish my mother had taught me before I turned 16 (via extrasad)

1. Post a picture of u?

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

3. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

5. Can you commit to one person?

6. How do you look right now?

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

8. How often do you listen to music?

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2015?

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

12. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

13. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

16. Are you going out of town soon?

17. When was the last time you cried?

18. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

20. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

22. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

23. Are you nice to everyone?

24. What are you sitting on right now?

25. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

29. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

30. Does anyone hate you?

31. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

33. Are you a jealous person?

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

35. Did you have a dream last night?

36. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

42. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

43. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

44. What’s the best part about school?

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

48. Were you single over the last summer?

49. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

50. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

outcast-oftheyear:

let-me-christmas-in-pieces:

holyswagbatman:

umfag:

naturesafterthought:

iraffiruse:

#justjesusythings

We’re all going to hell

this post might be the best thing ive seen on here

I’m dying

Well

I laughed

THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

outcast-oftheyear:

let-me-christmas-in-pieces:

holyswagbatman:

umfag:

naturesafterthought:

iraffiruse:

#justjesusythings

We’re all going to hell

this post might be the best thing ive seen on here

I’m dying

Well

I laughed

THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

It’s so difficult to describe depression to someone who’s never been there, because it’s not sadness. I know sadness. Sadness is to cry and to feel. But it’s that cold absence of feeling— that really hollowed-out feeling.

J.K. Rowling  (via made-in-morgue)

(Source: onlinecounsellingcollege)

Describe yourself on anon and I’ll say if I’d date you.

shut-up-karen:

shut-up-karen:

Age, gender, height, eye and hair color, then tell me what your favorite something (hobby, class, music, etc) and what kind of date you want me to take you on. 

Ready? GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Please I’m so bored and I need to blush

Guys

(Source: deadkirschtein)